


To Be Okay

by writeitgood018



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: M/M, race has anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 10:05:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19698601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeitgood018/pseuds/writeitgood018
Summary: The movie they were watching was a comedy. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, one of Race’s all-time favorites, and yet, Spot was the only one laughing.





	To Be Okay

The movie they were watching was a comedy. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, one of Race’s all-time favorites, and yet, Spot was the only one laughing. 

He didn’t realize until halfway through the movie. Race had been uncharacteristically quiet, but Spot had been distracted, first by the television settings, then by the popcorn, and finally by the movie itself. Right around the hour mark, as his lips twitched up into a grin at the protagonist’s antics, he glanced over at his boyfriend. The dim light filtered over his face just enough for Spot to see the opaque tear tracks running down his cheeks, the too pale palor of his skin, and the blank sheen in his eyes. 

The half-laugh died on his lips. His hands moved without motive, trying to reach out, and then settling for fumbling with the remote and pausing the movie. The screen flickered and then froze, trapping Ferris inside, standing mid-stride. In the now steady, but still dim light, Spot turned to his boyfriend. 

Race didn’t look at him, unfocused gaze fixed determinedly on the unmoving picture. For a moment, Spot let his gaze scan down his body, seeing his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down with rapid swallows, chest rising and falling with short, shaky breaths, white hands tightly clenching the knit fabric of the grey throw blanket. He took all this in, and then he gently reached out a hand. 

The instant his fingers brushed the soft fabric of Race’s shirt, resting on his shoulder, the other boy jerked, face turning instinctively away from Spot, body shuddering and closing off from the foreign touch. The ghost of a feeling flashed in his eyes before his eyelids fluttered shut, liquid still gathered in the corners. 

Spot opened his mouth to say something, anything, but Race beat him to it. Shaking his head, the blonde haired boy murmured, with eyes still closed, “I’m fine. Let’s just— we can just finish the movie, okay? It’s fine.”

Spot blinked, then tightened his grip slightly on Race’s shoulder, tugging gently to coax the other boy toward him. His boyfriend reluctantly turned to face him, cheeks flushed slightly red and loose tears still trailing across the contours of his face. 

Spot sucked in a breath, growing even more concerned with Race’s state. How had he not noticed before? And what was Race so upset about? 

He struggled to find the words to say to ask Race, to console him, even as he struggled to locate the source of his boyfriend’s distress. Looking up at Race’s tear stained face, the only thing he could think, could feel, was the need to take away his sadness, ease his unknown pain. He opened his mouth and— nothing. Something must have registered on his face, because Race’s own crumpled, and he shifted his weight as if to turn away. 

Acting on instinct, Spot reached out quickly with the hand that had previously rested on Race’s shoulder, and lifted it to his face, fingertips brushing the pale skin of his cheek. 

As soon as he did, he could _feel_ the effect it had on Race. His boyfriend leaned into the touch like he was starving for it, this simple contact of skin on skin. Spot’s heart practically broke for him, realizing just how much Race was hurting. As Race relaxed slightly into the touch, he wondered just how long Race had been struggling, and why he hadn’t noticed it before. Was this an isolated incident, or something deeper? 

After a moment, Race shifted to lay his head on Spot’s shoulder, his tapered, pale fingers burying themselves in the fabric of his sweatshirt. For a few silent moments, Spot simply held his boyfriend as he collected himself, the last traces of grief trailing slowly down his cheekbones. 

Finally, when Race’s breathing had settled into a steady rhythm, he spoke. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—“ he broke off, sniffling slightly. “I didn’t mean to ruin the movie. I don’t even know why I’m upset, I just—“

Spot rushed to console him. “Hey, it’s okay. You have nothing to apologize for, alright? I get it. Happens to the best of us sometimes, yeah? It’s okay to cry.”

Race sniffed again, then let his head drop back down to Spot’s shoulder. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.” There was a beat of silence. “I’m still sorry I ruined the movie, though.”

Spot shoved him gently, smiling. “Whatever, you dork. We’ve each seen it about a million times anyway.”

Wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, they stayed there on the couch, movie still paused. It was warm, soft, and comfortable. He would stay for as long as Race needed him to. As long as he was okay. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all, I started this a while ago and just finished it last night lol. Might be a little short but hopefully you like it!


End file.
